It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
