Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
please come you make the beer taste better
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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