You really coming over, don't trick.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
