i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
