It's like God shit irony all over that family
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
ok first of all what the fuck
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
