I hate your face
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's rum buckets o'clock
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
