You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
