Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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