how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
His hands were made for my vagina.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
