he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
