so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
