doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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