Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
