47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
