So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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