Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i don't like sucking hair
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
