We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
