So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
