don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
