9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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