Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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