ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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