Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
