wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
there's paper in my vomit.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Damn victory sex feels great
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
