i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
