it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
