My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This house was built for laser tag.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
