i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
ugly people sure do ruin things
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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