Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
