He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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