i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
