I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Did I show you my penis last night?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
