is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
