Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
