check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
