i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
