I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
