i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
