return my video game
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
