Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm bleeding and have questions
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
