If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
