What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
