absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
