Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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