Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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