She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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