help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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