i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
