My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
