Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
